hey everyody
i've switched to wordpress
www.adamdcroft.wordpress.com
this will still be here but i won't be posting here anymore!
link my new blog!
Tuesday, August 3, 2010
Tuesday, July 20, 2010
A Little Stress Can Be Good For You
Interesting idea....
“The idea that we could — or should — live without stress is nonsense,” says brain researcher Dr. Robert Sapolsky, the author of Why Zebras Don’t Get Ulcers.
Stress in brief stretches — excitement, eagerness, and thrill — can make your blood circulate better, improve your memory, heighten your senses, and release mood-enhancing brain chemicals.
Unrelieved, long-lasting stress can compromise the immune system, as well as lead to high blood pressure and heart disease. If you’re always exhausted, overwhelmed, and irritable, there’s probably too much stress in your life. Look at your responsibilities and let go of the things that aren’t necessary or important. Regular exercise, meditation, and adequate sleep also help relieve stress.
Boredom, fatigue, and ongoing unhappiness can be signs of too little stress.
To put the difference between good and bad stress in perspective: a roller coaster ride lasts three minutes, not three days.
Source: The Brain, Vol. 12, No. 12, p. 1, via InterVarsity’s HR department
“The idea that we could — or should — live without stress is nonsense,” says brain researcher Dr. Robert Sapolsky, the author of Why Zebras Don’t Get Ulcers.
Stress in brief stretches — excitement, eagerness, and thrill — can make your blood circulate better, improve your memory, heighten your senses, and release mood-enhancing brain chemicals.
Unrelieved, long-lasting stress can compromise the immune system, as well as lead to high blood pressure and heart disease. If you’re always exhausted, overwhelmed, and irritable, there’s probably too much stress in your life. Look at your responsibilities and let go of the things that aren’t necessary or important. Regular exercise, meditation, and adequate sleep also help relieve stress.
Boredom, fatigue, and ongoing unhappiness can be signs of too little stress.
To put the difference between good and bad stress in perspective: a roller coaster ride lasts three minutes, not three days.
Source: The Brain, Vol. 12, No. 12, p. 1, via InterVarsity’s HR department
Saturday, July 10, 2010
a new project for us all
"jesus invites all men to devote themselves to the project of getting ride of violence, a project conceived with reference to the true nature of violence, taking into account the illusions it fosters, the methods by which it gains ground...Violence is the enslavement of a pervasive lie; it imposes upon men a falsified vision not only of God but also of everything else." - Rene Girard
Sunday, July 4, 2010
Monday, June 28, 2010
try this on for size...
in relation to the trinity:
"I remember that I possess memory and understanding and will; I understand that I understand and will and remember: I will my own willing and remembering and understanding. And I remember at the same time the whole of my memory and understanding and will." - Augustine
the unity of selfhood - three in one-ness
similarly love requires a lover, one who is loved, and the love that unites them, in a kind of three-in-oneness, for in speaking of these three, we are speaking of one thing, love. - Augustine
chew on that for a few centuries
"I remember that I possess memory and understanding and will; I understand that I understand and will and remember: I will my own willing and remembering and understanding. And I remember at the same time the whole of my memory and understanding and will." - Augustine
the unity of selfhood - three in one-ness
similarly love requires a lover, one who is loved, and the love that unites them, in a kind of three-in-oneness, for in speaking of these three, we are speaking of one thing, love. - Augustine
chew on that for a few centuries
Sunday, June 27, 2010
dare devil God
tonight, at orientation for new staff, we talked about taking risks
we heard comical stories about risk from older followers reflecting on major risks they took in the lives.
then we discussed the idea of taking risks for the gospel and the fears the come with that
then we prayed for each other and as we were praying I had this crazy thought - "take risks, because to risk is the character of God."
God risks.
Love risks.
God is love and love risks it all.
If you think about it, creation as a whole testifies to the fact that God takes risks. To whatever extent, creation had a choice to love God or not, humans had a choice to love their creator or not - we chose not to.
the entire bible is the story of God chasing after his creation who did not love him culminating in the ultimate risk, the incarnation.
God taking on flesh and blood.
So when we risk we are in line with the character of God, we are acting like the image we are made in.
risk scares us though - but i think there is something in a risk that makes us feel alive - maybe thats over romantic maybe not
think back to the first time you told a girl (or a guy) you like them, or leaned in for your first kiss, or just the fact that no matter how many relationships fail we continually go back for more. there's the risk we will be rejected in all those situations but somehow there is something in the risk that makes us feel alive - maybe we feel alive because we are closer to the one in whom we have LIFE and breath.
"this could go horribly wrong...but it's worth it, hands down"
so, don't live your life afraid to fall on your face - take risks, because you're made in the image of a dare-devil God
we heard comical stories about risk from older followers reflecting on major risks they took in the lives.
then we discussed the idea of taking risks for the gospel and the fears the come with that
then we prayed for each other and as we were praying I had this crazy thought - "take risks, because to risk is the character of God."
God risks.
Love risks.
God is love and love risks it all.
If you think about it, creation as a whole testifies to the fact that God takes risks. To whatever extent, creation had a choice to love God or not, humans had a choice to love their creator or not - we chose not to.
the entire bible is the story of God chasing after his creation who did not love him culminating in the ultimate risk, the incarnation.
God taking on flesh and blood.
So when we risk we are in line with the character of God, we are acting like the image we are made in.
risk scares us though - but i think there is something in a risk that makes us feel alive - maybe thats over romantic maybe not
think back to the first time you told a girl (or a guy) you like them, or leaned in for your first kiss, or just the fact that no matter how many relationships fail we continually go back for more. there's the risk we will be rejected in all those situations but somehow there is something in the risk that makes us feel alive - maybe we feel alive because we are closer to the one in whom we have LIFE and breath.
"this could go horribly wrong...but it's worth it, hands down"
so, don't live your life afraid to fall on your face - take risks, because you're made in the image of a dare-devil God
Friday, June 25, 2010
Thursday, June 3, 2010
situationists and kingdom people
I read this quote in the recent Adbusters.
(the situationists were a restricted group of international revolutionaries according to wikipedia, that had their routes in marxism. - FYI)
"the situationists believed that ordinary people have all the tools they need for revolution...the only thing missing is a perceptual shift - a tantalizing glimpse of a new way of being - that suddenly brings everything into focus."
(the situationists were a restricted group of international revolutionaries according to wikipedia, that had their routes in marxism. - FYI)
"the situationists believed that ordinary people have all the tools they need for revolution...the only thing missing is a perceptual shift - a tantalizing glimpse of a new way of being - that suddenly brings everything into focus."
Tuesday, June 1, 2010
make me prove it / hosea
I was just challenge by a friends blog post - which inspired this blog post.
she said: “I don’t want following you to be easy, challenge me. I want to prove that my love for you is real, deep, enduring and unshakable.
i echo that.
see, the paradox is that we try our very best in life to avoid challenging things and are constantly looking for an easy road. but on the other hand, it is through the challenges and the hardships that we feel the most alive. it's also in the challenges and hardships that you find out whether or not you actually have the faith you claim to posses. not some pre-trial, naive, idealistic, emotional high feeling about God, but an honest wrestling, questioning, doubting, conquering and enduring faith that is not shaken. if you've ever had a situation that you thought was absolute hell and then later when it was all said and done looked back and had nothing but gratitude for the whole wretched thing - you know what i mean. we want to be saved from the storms, but sometimes the storms save us.
jesus never promises it will be easy. as a matter of fact he says the exact opposite.
the other part that hit me was Hosea 2:14- “Therefore I am now going to allure her; I will lead her into the desert and speak tenderly to her…” - Just think about God enticing and coaxing a prostitute whom he is madly in love with into the desert to whisper sweet nothings in her ear. It doesn't matter that she has had so many other lovers - God is sold on her.
it's kind of scandalous.
she said: “I don’t want following you to be easy, challenge me. I want to prove that my love for you is real, deep, enduring and unshakable.
i echo that.
see, the paradox is that we try our very best in life to avoid challenging things and are constantly looking for an easy road. but on the other hand, it is through the challenges and the hardships that we feel the most alive. it's also in the challenges and hardships that you find out whether or not you actually have the faith you claim to posses. not some pre-trial, naive, idealistic, emotional high feeling about God, but an honest wrestling, questioning, doubting, conquering and enduring faith that is not shaken. if you've ever had a situation that you thought was absolute hell and then later when it was all said and done looked back and had nothing but gratitude for the whole wretched thing - you know what i mean. we want to be saved from the storms, but sometimes the storms save us.
jesus never promises it will be easy. as a matter of fact he says the exact opposite.
the other part that hit me was Hosea 2:14- “Therefore I am now going to allure her; I will lead her into the desert and speak tenderly to her…” - Just think about God enticing and coaxing a prostitute whom he is madly in love with into the desert to whisper sweet nothings in her ear. It doesn't matter that she has had so many other lovers - God is sold on her.
it's kind of scandalous.
Saturday, May 29, 2010
Thursday, May 13, 2010
Tuesday, May 11, 2010
here be dragons / the god who wastes nothing
at the edges of many medieval maps was penciled in the phrase "here be dragons." this was unexplored territory and no one knew what was there so they wrote in that warning. basically the message was "stay away - we don't know what is here, it's not safe here." it may even hurt. one author i'm reading says that we need to go to the edges of our medieval maps and confront our dragons more often. if you think about - some one at some point decided to go deal with those dragons on the edge of the known map and found out that it wasn't so bad after all - maybe they learned something about themselves on the journey to dragon land and maybe they learned something about the un-explored world when they got to dragon land and found there were no dragons - (or defeated them) we need to go to the places in our lives that are marked "here be dragons." the idea is that when we sit in our darkness and brokenness - sort of like the concept of the lenten season - that is when we experience God, and when we grow the most. when we face the fringes of our metaphorical maps we are pushed out of our comfort zones into what some have called liminal space. this is the space of God. this space is where God meets us where we are and moves us along. liminal space is that place where everything you know has been turned upside down and you have no frame of reference for anything. some have compared it to the birth of a child or the death of a loved one.
so my first year of "official" ministry has been a crazy one. (I used quotes around official because everybody is in ministry whether you get paid or not) if you don't know what I am talking about - I work for InterVarsity Christian Fellowship in Rhode Island. It is a campus ministry organization. my supervisor and many others have said that your first year of ministry is more for you and your own development than it is for anyone else...I affirm that now. this year has stretched me in ways that I did not know were possible, and looking back i would say the defining word for the year is "growth."
visiting the fringes of ourselves often seems scary and lonely. when we confront our own unknown it is frightening. we often find things there (situations, people, places, memories, events etc) that we don't want to deal with - and they often seem like a waste. there is a phrase in hebrew that translates to "the God who wastes nothing." Nothing in our lives is wasted by God, He is not afraid of our dragons and if we just need to be still and let God take care of the dragons for us. There is a verse in Exodus (14:14) that says "The Lord will fight for you, you only need to be still." The Israelites had just gotten out of Egypt and already they are complaining and being fearful of the desert. (maybe they are afraid there are dragons there) Moses says to them essentially "God will fight for you, just shut up."
this is the summation of the lessons i learned this year:
it's not up to me,
God will use me in my junk regardless and i just need to be still and let God fight the dragons.
God uses my brokenness and fear of dragons in His reconciliation of all things.
I am not God.
the answer is often "yes." (to many different questions.)
so my first year of "official" ministry has been a crazy one. (I used quotes around official because everybody is in ministry whether you get paid or not) if you don't know what I am talking about - I work for InterVarsity Christian Fellowship in Rhode Island. It is a campus ministry organization. my supervisor and many others have said that your first year of ministry is more for you and your own development than it is for anyone else...I affirm that now. this year has stretched me in ways that I did not know were possible, and looking back i would say the defining word for the year is "growth."
visiting the fringes of ourselves often seems scary and lonely. when we confront our own unknown it is frightening. we often find things there (situations, people, places, memories, events etc) that we don't want to deal with - and they often seem like a waste. there is a phrase in hebrew that translates to "the God who wastes nothing." Nothing in our lives is wasted by God, He is not afraid of our dragons and if we just need to be still and let God take care of the dragons for us. There is a verse in Exodus (14:14) that says "The Lord will fight for you, you only need to be still." The Israelites had just gotten out of Egypt and already they are complaining and being fearful of the desert. (maybe they are afraid there are dragons there) Moses says to them essentially "God will fight for you, just shut up."
this is the summation of the lessons i learned this year:
it's not up to me,
God will use me in my junk regardless and i just need to be still and let God fight the dragons.
God uses my brokenness and fear of dragons in His reconciliation of all things.
I am not God.
the answer is often "yes." (to many different questions.)
Monday, April 12, 2010
Sunday, April 4, 2010
Saturday, April 3, 2010
Friday, April 2, 2010
Thursday, March 25, 2010
the victim's faint pulse picks up
Psalm 10:17-18 - The Message
"The victim's faint pulse picks up,
the hearts of the hopeless pump red blood
as you put your ear to their lips.
Orphans get parents, the homeless get homes.
The reign of terror is over,
the rule of the gang lords is ended."
...the victim's faint pulse picks up...
down in New Orleans I stumbled across this verse. It really struck me as a great way to articulate the message of Jesus in very bare bones, raw, gut feeling emotional type of way.
Jesus's message asserts that there is more. The old way is out and there is something new happening - the Kingdom of God.
We do not have to live this old way of the world anymore - there is a faint glimmer of hope on the horizon.
Imagine a person who has been physically beaten and left for dead. Their attacker has done their worst. Right as the victim is about to fade out of consciousness he or she hears the voice of a loved one coming screaming their name. Against all medical odds that victim holds on - their pulse starts to pick up again. They have seen that there is hope.
I think of the end scene of any action movie where it looks like the victim has met their end. Then at the last second the hero bursts in and saves the day. We always get excited about the hero but never really think about the victim's thoughts as the hero bursts through the door.
Followers of Jesus are people who are often beaten and left for dead. The world and this life have done their worst, and just when it seems like all hope is lost - enter Jesus. Our pulse starts to pick up...because it's not over.
I think we all identify with this emotion. That's why so many movies end this way - the hero is just about done and at the last second something sparks a second wind, a hope in them. Sometimes its a memory, other times its just the face of a loved one, or the remembrance of a promise - but something always causes them to have more hope, more drive and ultimately to make it out alive, or win the fight or whatever. Something causes their faint pulse to pick up.
The message of Jesus should cause our broken, tired world's faint pulse to jump start.
Almost like in the same way your pulse picks up at the site of your loved one, or at your first kiss, or the first time you asked someone out on a date. I think that quickening pulse is what Jesus' main message is when we boil it down - there is more, there is hope and it better cause your pulse to pump faster...you should be excited - because there is more. Good things happen here - orphans get parents, the homeless get homes, the reign of terror is over. Turn around, the Kingdom of God is here.
In Jesus' death and resurrection we have new life, we have hope, we have cause to press on with confidence that there is more, with the confidence that the Kingdom of God is here...right now...among us. There is a new world bursting forth right in the midst of the old one a world where there is hope for the helpless, rest for the weary and love for the broken heart, there is grace and forgiveness. Resurrection Sunday ushers in the new humanity - new life.
this easter - I pray your pulse picks up a beat
"The victim's faint pulse picks up,
the hearts of the hopeless pump red blood
as you put your ear to their lips.
Orphans get parents, the homeless get homes.
The reign of terror is over,
the rule of the gang lords is ended."
...the victim's faint pulse picks up...
down in New Orleans I stumbled across this verse. It really struck me as a great way to articulate the message of Jesus in very bare bones, raw, gut feeling emotional type of way.
Jesus's message asserts that there is more. The old way is out and there is something new happening - the Kingdom of God.
We do not have to live this old way of the world anymore - there is a faint glimmer of hope on the horizon.
Imagine a person who has been physically beaten and left for dead. Their attacker has done their worst. Right as the victim is about to fade out of consciousness he or she hears the voice of a loved one coming screaming their name. Against all medical odds that victim holds on - their pulse starts to pick up again. They have seen that there is hope.
I think of the end scene of any action movie where it looks like the victim has met their end. Then at the last second the hero bursts in and saves the day. We always get excited about the hero but never really think about the victim's thoughts as the hero bursts through the door.
Followers of Jesus are people who are often beaten and left for dead. The world and this life have done their worst, and just when it seems like all hope is lost - enter Jesus. Our pulse starts to pick up...because it's not over.
I think we all identify with this emotion. That's why so many movies end this way - the hero is just about done and at the last second something sparks a second wind, a hope in them. Sometimes its a memory, other times its just the face of a loved one, or the remembrance of a promise - but something always causes them to have more hope, more drive and ultimately to make it out alive, or win the fight or whatever. Something causes their faint pulse to pick up.
The message of Jesus should cause our broken, tired world's faint pulse to jump start.
Almost like in the same way your pulse picks up at the site of your loved one, or at your first kiss, or the first time you asked someone out on a date. I think that quickening pulse is what Jesus' main message is when we boil it down - there is more, there is hope and it better cause your pulse to pump faster...you should be excited - because there is more. Good things happen here - orphans get parents, the homeless get homes, the reign of terror is over. Turn around, the Kingdom of God is here.
In Jesus' death and resurrection we have new life, we have hope, we have cause to press on with confidence that there is more, with the confidence that the Kingdom of God is here...right now...among us. There is a new world bursting forth right in the midst of the old one a world where there is hope for the helpless, rest for the weary and love for the broken heart, there is grace and forgiveness. Resurrection Sunday ushers in the new humanity - new life.
this easter - I pray your pulse picks up a beat
Wednesday, March 24, 2010
Tuesday, March 9, 2010
Saturday, March 6, 2010
YESSSSS!!!!!!
my excitement over this shows how much of a karate nerd I am....and im ok with that :)
Monday, March 1, 2010
my new favorite prayer
Gracious God, our sins are too heavy to carry, too real to hide, and too deep to undo. Forgive what our lips tremble to name, what our hearts can no longer bear, and what has become for us a consuming fire of judgment. Set us free from a past that we cannot change; open to us a future in which we can be changed; and grant us grace to grow more and more in your likeness and image, through Jesus Christ, the light of the world. Amen.
Saturday, February 20, 2010
so I'm a blonde now...
I dressed up as a a friends brother for his birthday party (that was the theme) and now my hair is blonde....
Tuesday, February 16, 2010
genesis 1 and skin garments
so i'm preparing my first real "talk" for when intervarsity takes college students down to new orleans over spring break. i am doing two talks - one on why God would allow so much suffering and how the world was not always how we see it and will not always be this way. I'm also doing the last talk on how Jesus invites us to be a part of God's redemption in the world. And I'm giving the invitation to follow Jesus at the end!
So - Genesis 1-3 is amazing. There is so much there, and there is ALWAYS more to learn in re-reading it. Without listing my entire talk...the thing that made me write this post was Genesis 3:21 "The LORD God made garments of skin for Adam and his wife and clothed them." Seemingly trivial right?
IMMEDIATELY after humanity turns their back on God and his plan, they choose outside of His love and are cast out of the garden. And the FIRST thing God does is make them clothes! Adam and Eve felt shame because they were naked and the first thing God does after basically being stabbed in the back is....clothe them so they don't feel shame!?
Amazing.
This is something I'm re-learning (or maybe actually learning for the first time) that God stinkin loves us - no matter how many times we turn our backs on Him - he still clothes our nakedness and covers our shame.
Could clothes be the first post fall example of God meeting humans where they are at?
So - Genesis 1-3 is amazing. There is so much there, and there is ALWAYS more to learn in re-reading it. Without listing my entire talk...the thing that made me write this post was Genesis 3:21 "The LORD God made garments of skin for Adam and his wife and clothed them." Seemingly trivial right?
IMMEDIATELY after humanity turns their back on God and his plan, they choose outside of His love and are cast out of the garden. And the FIRST thing God does is make them clothes! Adam and Eve felt shame because they were naked and the first thing God does after basically being stabbed in the back is....clothe them so they don't feel shame!?
Amazing.
This is something I'm re-learning (or maybe actually learning for the first time) that God stinkin loves us - no matter how many times we turn our backs on Him - he still clothes our nakedness and covers our shame.
Could clothes be the first post fall example of God meeting humans where they are at?
Saturday, February 13, 2010
Saturday, February 6, 2010
Tuesday, February 2, 2010
Wednesday, January 27, 2010
jesus at your table
"If Jesus appeared at your dining room table tonight with knowledge of everything you are and are not, total comprehension of your life story and every skeleton hidden in your closet; if he had laid out the real state of your present discipleship with the hidden agenda, the mixed motives, and the dark desires buried in your psyche you would feel his acceptance and forgiveness." - Brennan Manning
Saturday, January 23, 2010
one of those "ok God I get it" moments
lately - it appears that i have been able to relate to a number of people in my life in a very real way because of specific events that have happened in my life, that are now happening in theirs. (its a confusing sentence, read it again, slowly)
today that happened again.
without going into specifics, i was talking with someone today who upon listening to this person the thought in my head was "oh man, you sound exactly like me"
i say the phrase "i know exactly what you mean / i know exactly how you feel" a lot lately, and as cliche as it is and for as much as people throw it around as a futile attempt at comforting friends - I can actually mean it.
I've also heard a lot lately that I am really good at pulling things out of people. (not objects or body parts...feelings, emotions, whats bothering them, the truth etc, in case you were wondering)
maybe i have a future as a counselor...
today that happened again.
without going into specifics, i was talking with someone today who upon listening to this person the thought in my head was "oh man, you sound exactly like me"
i say the phrase "i know exactly what you mean / i know exactly how you feel" a lot lately, and as cliche as it is and for as much as people throw it around as a futile attempt at comforting friends - I can actually mean it.
I've also heard a lot lately that I am really good at pulling things out of people. (not objects or body parts...feelings, emotions, whats bothering them, the truth etc, in case you were wondering)
maybe i have a future as a counselor...
Friday, January 22, 2010
holy fool
Holy Fool
I am a fool
I look beyond reason
I stray beyond logic
I dance when I should cry
I weep when I should party
I am fool of joy for the things I don't know
I am past caring about the things I do know
I love someone I've never seen
I admire people who I know are a mess
I hope things are fragile, I just don't trust stability
I long for the future and I love each step toward it
I walk the earth but I dream of the heavens
I know I am special because of my ordinariness
I find chaos confusing and confusion creative
I am of no influence yet I strive to make a difference
I have no voice yet I shout from the rooftops
I live a life that's a joke with a serious punchline
I am a poet who's lost for words
I love the world that turns its back on all that matters to me
I want to embrace the people who want to hurt me
I pray for those who hate me
I serve one who knelt and washed feet
I live for a deity who died for me
I am an innocent because I know what I've done wrong
I am free because my heart's not my own
I am strong because I am broken
I found God in a "Godless" place
I am a faithful rascal
I am an ordinary radical
I am a fool for God
By Mark Berry
I am a fool
I look beyond reason
I stray beyond logic
I dance when I should cry
I weep when I should party
I am fool of joy for the things I don't know
I am past caring about the things I do know
I love someone I've never seen
I admire people who I know are a mess
I hope things are fragile, I just don't trust stability
I long for the future and I love each step toward it
I walk the earth but I dream of the heavens
I know I am special because of my ordinariness
I find chaos confusing and confusion creative
I am of no influence yet I strive to make a difference
I have no voice yet I shout from the rooftops
I live a life that's a joke with a serious punchline
I am a poet who's lost for words
I love the world that turns its back on all that matters to me
I want to embrace the people who want to hurt me
I pray for those who hate me
I serve one who knelt and washed feet
I live for a deity who died for me
I am an innocent because I know what I've done wrong
I am free because my heart's not my own
I am strong because I am broken
I found God in a "Godless" place
I am a faithful rascal
I am an ordinary radical
I am a fool for God
By Mark Berry
Thursday, January 21, 2010
shane claiborne at urbana
go to day 3 and watch shane's talk, and then watch the guy that is after him as well - oscar
actually just take the day off from work and watch them all :)
http://www.urbana09.org/videos.cfm
actually just take the day off from work and watch them all :)
http://www.urbana09.org/videos.cfm
cloud cities
so recently I went to this thing called "Urbana." Ironically its not in Urbana but St. Louis. Anyway, its a student mission conference sponsored by the organization i work for - intervarsity...its a campus ministry org.
16,000 christians take over the city of st. louis - it's intense...i'll leave it at that
i've been in this season of re-evaluating, questioning, doubting, falling in love all over again with things, falling out of love with those things yet again, thinking a lot, needing to find answers, and sadly not as much time praying.
my quest for a theological "cure all" for all my questions had left me extremely tired and honestly somewhat hopeless. my quest for head knowledge and a better intellectual understanding of God took over and my heart knowledge and my experience of God slacked, which didn't help the doubting part.
I have an over analytical mind - which is a blessing and a curse sometimes - i was also a history student, i was taught to have my first reaction to be skepticism...i question everything which causes me to search for answers and when i find answers, it only raises at least 8 more questions for every answer i find...so you can see the dilema
i had a revelation on my way home from urbana
on the plane ride back from urbana i got schooled by a young German child in the seat behind me..
"Look at the clouds son"
Me in my head: "ya look at the clouds."
(A few minutes before I had been looking out the window as well...I have always been fascinated when I fly through clouds. I mean you are so close to them but can't touch them, its frustrating At this particular time we were starting our descent, so I was ready, and excited.)
"Look daddy! a cloud city!"
"Oh wow son, you're right look at that!"
Me: "cloud city what?"
"look at that cloud city daddy! its even bigger
Me: (in my head)
"I wonder what it would be like to touch a cloud."
"how freekin awesome would it be to be attached to some rope swinging through the clouds."
"I wonder what it would feel like, probably soft and fluffy."
"well, I'd probably get wet if I touched a cloud, they are after all, condensation - water."
"how does the plane not get wet?"
"how does the wetness not affect the engine? shouldn't an engine stall when its wet? clouds after all are made of water vapor..I wonder how they prevent that, clearly planes have flown through clouds before...hmmmm"
"look at that city son!"
"look daddy! a _________(insert random cloud animal shape)"
Me: "oh, look at that, it IS a cloud city..."
you get the idea...and this point it hit me like a wall of bricks, that I am trapped in my western-ness, my predisposition to reason and having the answers, prevents me from seeing and experiencing the beauty all around me. my thought pattern went from wonder and awe at the thought of swinging through clouds, to pondering the inner workings of a jet engine in a matter of seconds...it took a 5 year old to point out a cloud city for me to actually see it.
maybe this is why jesus says we need to become like little children...
"Truly I tell you, anyone who will not receive the kingdom of God like a little child will never enter it." - Mark 10:15
16,000 christians take over the city of st. louis - it's intense...i'll leave it at that
i've been in this season of re-evaluating, questioning, doubting, falling in love all over again with things, falling out of love with those things yet again, thinking a lot, needing to find answers, and sadly not as much time praying.
my quest for a theological "cure all" for all my questions had left me extremely tired and honestly somewhat hopeless. my quest for head knowledge and a better intellectual understanding of God took over and my heart knowledge and my experience of God slacked, which didn't help the doubting part.
I have an over analytical mind - which is a blessing and a curse sometimes - i was also a history student, i was taught to have my first reaction to be skepticism...i question everything which causes me to search for answers and when i find answers, it only raises at least 8 more questions for every answer i find...so you can see the dilema
i had a revelation on my way home from urbana
on the plane ride back from urbana i got schooled by a young German child in the seat behind me..
"Look at the clouds son"
Me in my head: "ya look at the clouds."
(A few minutes before I had been looking out the window as well...I have always been fascinated when I fly through clouds. I mean you are so close to them but can't touch them, its frustrating At this particular time we were starting our descent, so I was ready, and excited.)
"Look daddy! a cloud city!"
"Oh wow son, you're right look at that!"
Me: "cloud city what?"
"look at that cloud city daddy! its even bigger
Me: (in my head)
"I wonder what it would be like to touch a cloud."
"how freekin awesome would it be to be attached to some rope swinging through the clouds."
"I wonder what it would feel like, probably soft and fluffy."
"well, I'd probably get wet if I touched a cloud, they are after all, condensation - water."
"how does the plane not get wet?"
"how does the wetness not affect the engine? shouldn't an engine stall when its wet? clouds after all are made of water vapor..I wonder how they prevent that, clearly planes have flown through clouds before...hmmmm"
"look at that city son!"
"look daddy! a _________(insert random cloud animal shape)"
Me: "oh, look at that, it IS a cloud city..."
you get the idea...and this point it hit me like a wall of bricks, that I am trapped in my western-ness, my predisposition to reason and having the answers, prevents me from seeing and experiencing the beauty all around me. my thought pattern went from wonder and awe at the thought of swinging through clouds, to pondering the inner workings of a jet engine in a matter of seconds...it took a 5 year old to point out a cloud city for me to actually see it.
maybe this is why jesus says we need to become like little children...
"Truly I tell you, anyone who will not receive the kingdom of God like a little child will never enter it." - Mark 10:15
ragamuffiness
if you were wondering where the title of my blog comes from, its from a book called "the ragamuffin gospel" by brennan manning. you should read it...right now.
in essence the book is about grace. its central premise is that followers of jesus often believe grace in theory but not in practice.
the bending of the mind by the powers of this world has twisted the gospel of grace into religious bondage and distorted the image of God into an eternal, small minded book keeper...the institutionalized church has become a of the healers rather than a healer of the wounded.
Sooner or later we are all confronted with the painful truth of our inadequacy and insufficiency. Our security is shattered and our bootstraps are cut. Once the fervor has passed, weakness and infidelity appear. We discover our inability to add even a single inch to our spiritual stature. There beings a long winter of discontent that eventually flowers into gloom, pessimism and a subtle despair, subtle because it goes unrecognized, unnoticed and therefore unchallenged. it takes the form of boredom, drudgery. We are overcome by the ordinariness of life, by daily duties done over and over again. We secretly admit that the call of Jesus is too demanding, that surrender to the Spirit is beyond our reach. life takes on a joyless empty quality...all our huffing and puffing trying to impress God, scrambling for brownie points and trying to fix ourselves all fly straight in the face of the gospel of grace.
God has a single relentless stance towards us...He loves us. He is jealous for us.
Because of that grace has to be drunk straight: no water, no ice and certainly no ginger ale; neither goodness nor badness, nor the flowers that bloom in the spring of super spirituality could be allowed to enter into the case.
Enough said now that I've quoted most of the first chapter...hopefully thats enough to wet your appetite...
this is my favorite part of the book, its a simple prayer at the end of a chapter...i'll leave you with this:
"Lord Jesus, we are silly sheep who have dared to stand before you and try to bribe you with our preposterous portfolios. Suddenly we have come to our sense. We are sorry and ask you to forgive us. Give us grace to admit that we are ragamuffins, to embrace our brokenness, to celebrate your mercy when we are at our weakest, to rely on your mercy no matter what we do. Dear Jesus, gift us to stop grandstanding and trying to get attention, to do the truth quietly without display, to let the dishonesties in our lives fade away, to accept our limitations, to cling to the gospel of grace, and to delight in your love. Amen"
in essence the book is about grace. its central premise is that followers of jesus often believe grace in theory but not in practice.
the bending of the mind by the powers of this world has twisted the gospel of grace into religious bondage and distorted the image of God into an eternal, small minded book keeper...the institutionalized church has become a of the healers rather than a healer of the wounded.
Sooner or later we are all confronted with the painful truth of our inadequacy and insufficiency. Our security is shattered and our bootstraps are cut. Once the fervor has passed, weakness and infidelity appear. We discover our inability to add even a single inch to our spiritual stature. There beings a long winter of discontent that eventually flowers into gloom, pessimism and a subtle despair, subtle because it goes unrecognized, unnoticed and therefore unchallenged. it takes the form of boredom, drudgery. We are overcome by the ordinariness of life, by daily duties done over and over again. We secretly admit that the call of Jesus is too demanding, that surrender to the Spirit is beyond our reach. life takes on a joyless empty quality...all our huffing and puffing trying to impress God, scrambling for brownie points and trying to fix ourselves all fly straight in the face of the gospel of grace.
God has a single relentless stance towards us...He loves us. He is jealous for us.
Because of that grace has to be drunk straight: no water, no ice and certainly no ginger ale; neither goodness nor badness, nor the flowers that bloom in the spring of super spirituality could be allowed to enter into the case.
Enough said now that I've quoted most of the first chapter...hopefully thats enough to wet your appetite...
this is my favorite part of the book, its a simple prayer at the end of a chapter...i'll leave you with this:
"Lord Jesus, we are silly sheep who have dared to stand before you and try to bribe you with our preposterous portfolios. Suddenly we have come to our sense. We are sorry and ask you to forgive us. Give us grace to admit that we are ragamuffins, to embrace our brokenness, to celebrate your mercy when we are at our weakest, to rely on your mercy no matter what we do. Dear Jesus, gift us to stop grandstanding and trying to get attention, to do the truth quietly without display, to let the dishonesties in our lives fade away, to accept our limitations, to cling to the gospel of grace, and to delight in your love. Amen"
welcome
Welcome to my blog.
My name is Adam and this is where you can read my often paradoxical thoughts. :)
Enjoy.
My name is Adam and this is where you can read my often paradoxical thoughts. :)
Enjoy.
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